July.....in a nutshell

I can't remember the last time I wrote a post so I'm going to just recap July as best I can. Sometimes I find it really difficult to document life when we're so busy living it.

The month was crazy and with any down time that came my way I tried to sleep. The twins have been undergoing an AWFUL sleep regression. Some nights I've been up one baby after another nearly every hour. As soon as I lay down after feeding one, the other wakes. Misery. Matt keeps telling me they're growing. They're awfully small for a two month long growth spurt.

For Gracie's birthday (July 2) we had some friends join us at the park for donuts to celebrate. It wasn't a a party but little play date for the big "2".

 I love this pic of the big kids hovering over her.....

 Carter came and wore himself out.....

 The big boys......Gage and Ty

 Rocco.....

 Ash lounging around......

 Jay.....

Harley LOVES Gracie......

 The day she turned TWO.....

 The big girls.....Bella and Harley.....

In other news Gracie decided to get back in her high chair. I don't know why....one day she just climbed back in........and I sighed with relief. I will survive.

Here she is with some coconut milk ice cream....

We took Gracie to the allergist and we'll find out in the next few weeks if she's outgrown her dairy allergy. In the mean time she's been busy putting words into sentences....."Mo ice keem peas"

I took the kids to the zoo. I took two pictures and only one showed we were at the zoo......

......so much for my attempts to preserve memories. We went with Danneal's family and Christina and Carter joined us too. Ty (11) and Paris (8) saved the day. Ty took Gage to the reptile house while we let the little ones feed the giraffes. Then Paris walked around watching Gracie and when Ashlyn started to get fussy Ty held her. I decided I need a Ty in my life.......and a Paris too.

We gave the twins their first food....oatmeal. It went okay. Jay loved it but he was so determined to get a hold of the spoon he ended up with oatmeal in his eye and it ended there. Ashlyn did really well. Here are some pics.......

We headed down to the farm for our nephew Heston's dedication and first birthday party.......

We stopped at Matt's work on our way down and the kids played for a few minutes....

At the farm I had time to sew Gracie a new dress and Gage had a blast with Katrina and John. They taught each other songs from VBS and performed a few shows for us. Pics from our trip......

Gracie in her new party dress......

 Gage hiding from pics as usual.....

 My big kids......

 Me and my big girl......

 She LOVED swinging.....

All of the grandchildren were there.....from back left-John, Debi, Dale, Katrina, Madeline, Heston, Ashlyn, Jay, David, Michael, Gracie, Gage, Lilly and Gabby (more arriving Fall 2013 and Spring 2014)

 Grandpa Dale with the twins....

 Our family......

 Me and my babies.....Jay's outfit is one of the few things I kept of Gage's (he wore it on his first Easter)

One of many performances......

Kalli and I caught this moment where they put their heads together......

 Their faces crack me up......

We had a great time celebrating Heston's dedication and 1st birthday......it wouldn't be a party at the farm without the checkered tablecloths.....

 The birthday boy mesmerized by Gage

Hopefully the month of August will allow more time for blogging. Here were some of my favorite Instagram pics from the month of July

Slide is faster without a diaper.....

 Jay always has his toes in his mouth.....

 Daddy's girl and Mama's boy......

 Shoveling ground beef.....in pearls

 He's ready to feed himself......

 Her faces.....

 Date day....sushi and Marble Slab after VBS

 They look so thoughtful.....

 He loves to hop in the shower with me....

 Precious girl.....

 He loves salmon......raw......all by itself

 Classic......

 This grin.....

 We love to lick the beaters.....

 Gage's birthday note for Gracie.....

 Best big brother......

 4th of July.....

 Gracie's birthday cake.....decorated by Gage

Made this knit headband and I can't decide if she looks like a 50's housewife with a scarf or a gangster......either way I like it

 He loves his babies.....

Till next time....

Love

My identity crisis....

It's been a few weeks since the last post.....because.....it's been crazy. The rest of my birthday was great......Matt got me these fabulous new sunglasses. Thank you Matty and Tom Ford for giving me just a little bit of style

Gage got me this necklace...

I love it.

And Matt made this framed portrait of the me with the twins

Yes, I said made. He made the frame. He's amazing.

Then we met my brother and sister and some friends at Vino for lunch and drinks. It was nice to visit with Amy, Phil, Josh, and Lori because we don't spend as much time together as we'd like. I wish I had taken a few pics, but I didn't.

The last few weeks have been a little dramatic which is why I haven't had time to post. Gracie started refusing to sit in her high chair. She had been in a space saver type seat that sits on a regular chair at the table. If I did manage to get her strapped in she would hang over the side or kick her feet against the table. Once she kicked so hard she pushed her chair back and it went to the ground. We started thinking she might be scared to get back in her high chair so we did some sitting on our laps and some picnics in the backyard but that couldn't last forever. So I decided to put my foot down-and that was followed by a nearly three day stand-off where I refused to give her food unless she sat at the table. She won. After almost three days of her not eating anything except a few snacks I gave her in the car (and some random animal crackers she scrounged up from God knows where) I decided I had to give her an alternative to her high chair. So I've borrowed a "kids table". It's only KIND OF working because it's hard to get her to stay seated until she's done eating. I didn't realize how often I was using it to contain her so I could things like feed the twins and do the dishes. She's the most challenging of the kids right now because she's into everything-scaling the pantry shelves to spill cereal boxes,  sneaking into the Oreos and peanut butter chips, putting dirty clothes in the dryer along with the clean ones, pulling Gage's books off the shelves, getting into his markers while I'm feeding the twins, pulling out every wipe from the container while I think she's taking a nap and on......and on.....and on.......

I don't have the luxury of keeping an eye on her all the time because while I feed the twins-that's all I can do. The upside is that she's in one of my favorite phases at the same time. It's the one where she's really learning to talk...where someone sneezes and she spontaneously says, "Bless you"......and she says "more cookie please" and "Ash crying" and "Daddy's home" and "I hold you" and she loves pointing out pictures in books. And her voice can be one of the sweetest things I've ever heard.

Look at her face......

She would hardly get out of the stroller at our park visit one morning because the gardeners were there. Every time she hears them outside she runs to my lap crying and begging me to hold her. With our four surrounding neighbors it happens several times a week. Same with the vacuum and blender.

Gage has been having a busy summer so far. He spent a week doing the All Star Sports Camp at Copper River......

then a week of VBS at New Covenant, then camping with Grandma Stacey. He'll do another week of camp at Copper and possibly another week of VBS before he heads down to the farm for another visit. I'll be keeping him pretty busy all summer-he's best when he's busy.

The twins are doing great.....I think they get more precious every day. At their four month appointment Ashlyn was just under 12 pounds, and Jay just under 14 pounds. Ashlyn is more content.....Jay is a little more likely to cry where she's pretty happy most of the time. He just likes to be held and she'd rather be left alone. They both light up when someone smiles at them though, and it's adorable.

Me, I'm still enduring some type of identity crisis. It's as if I want to be someone I'm not. I want to be stylish-but then I remind myself that I don't need new clothes or to be stylish because I never go anywhere......I want to hone my cooking skills and make an amazing dinner-but then I realize it's 6 o'clock and I never took the meat out to defrost.....I want to be fit-but I haven't been to the gym in several weeks......I want to be one of those people that has a clean house-but I just can't seem to make it happen.  I have just had to accept the last one.......I had to accept that I have to allow people to come over when my house is a mess. If I didn't-I would never see anyone. Last week Lauren came by and when she left I realized that the whole time I was talking to her one side of my tank top was down and my sports bra was showing. Good thing it was just LK and she understands that my life is a complete mess most of the time.

It's okay, it's a phase and I know it will pass. It's the reason I craft.......it's the one part of my identity that I can be successful at right now. I want to be crafty-and I am.

People always ask where I find the time to sew and craft.......the fact is-I don't find it-I take it from other places. I don't really have the time to craft-I take it from time that I could spend watching television, or should spend cleaning house, or doing my hair, or taking a shower, or getting my kids dressed, ha! 

Tomorrow my back neighbor has invited me for a late-night sew.....more crafts to come! And tomorrow starts with a little park play date with friends to celebrate Gracie turning TWO!! 

The Gemini in me wants to be all things......I'm reminded of that Keith Urban song.....I just want a little bit of everything. So I can't do everything well......but I can do a little bit of everything. 

Love. 

You say it's your birthday.......

it's my birthday too!

Last year I wrote this post as my birthday approached.....and here it is again, June eleven. This year I am thirty-two.....very uninteresting. I just still can't believe I'm that old.. I just feel especially old this year......as if I've let myself go......except I haven't, at least not forever. When I was pregnant with the twins I got a little crazy and extreme cleaned my closet. I feel the need to do it again. "A Vegas dress?! I'm never going to Vegas again, and if I do I certainly won't be able to don a strapless dress!! In fact, what else in here is strapless?! Cause it's gotta go! A bikini?! That ties on with strings?! Gotta go......a backless shirt?! Who do I think I am?! " I could go on and on.

I haven't let myself go.....it's just that I have been pregnant or recently delivered a baby or two for much of the last three years. Everything in my closet is either something I wore when I was pregnant (which I classify as maternity even if it isn't) or OLD. Three kids ago old. And part of me doesn't really care.....I rarely leave the house, and when I do I just throw on my gym clothes. Taking the kids anywhere feels like a workout so it's totally justified. But then there are times when I actually have to get dressed in real clothes. That's when I look in my closet and feel old. Or when I see clothes I love but I realize wearing silk just doesn't make sense in my world anymore.

At the same time I feel amazing.....I have cut back Alyssa's hours and have even made time to sew a few blankets for expecting friends. I can hold both my tiny babies and read to the big kids all at the same time. I keep reminding myself that most of these things are temporary. There will come a day that I can again wear silk......and there will only be so many days that I can hold both of tiny babies.......and only so many days I can read to them.

This last weekend I was given the best birthday gift. I wish I had done a better job of documenting it in pictures. My Aunt Janet, my cousin Valerie, and my newest cousin-in-law Spencer came to our house and watched all the kids so Matt and I could enjoy a day to ourselves. It was amazing. There were three of them which made me confident everything would be under control. Plus they're family and I know they just love my babies so I had no worries. We had lunch and a few cocktails at Pismo's, then went to a movie (which we haven't done in-and I'm NOT exaggerating-over three years), then we met Hally, Lauren, and Nelson for happy hour at Ruth's Chris and followed that with a little treat from Marble Slab on our way home. It was around 8:30 when we got home. Usually at 8:30 I'm exhausted......I can't wait until 9:30 so I can justify going to bed. Not that day....I felt like a million bucks! Like I had hours of life left in me before bedtime. It was a most amazing gift......and it made me realize that I need that time with Matt. Time for us to be husband and wife......not mom and dad. THANK YOU Janet, Valerie, and Spencer-it was a most thoughtful gift and we enjoyed and relaxed every minute of it.

Here are some images from my day..........










More on the birthday tomorrow.....or the next day......or next week.....

Love.

I'm a little behind on this post.....

It's been a little while since my last post because it's been a little crazy around here. Just typical stuff-Gracie climbed out of her crib so we turned it into a daybed. It was a bit of a disaster trying to get her to sleep in the  new freedom of a big girl bed. That came at the same time I moved the twins from Rock and Plays to cribs. It's also during the time that Gage has been wrapping up Kindergarten and we've had "off" schedules, teacher gifts to get, and parties to contribute to.

But right now in my house.......it's ALL quiet. It's pretty strange. Gage is off to swim with Courtney, Gracie and the twins are napping AT THE SAME TIME!! So here I am blogging in the few moments I'll have today. This might mean dinner doesn't get done but there's worse things.

Today Gage had his Kindergarten Celebration.....you might consider it a graduation. I don't, but you might. This was another one of those times.....when maybe I should have been sentimental about how fast he's growing up-but I wasn't. I'm actually looking forward to all day school.......to real reading and real expectations. I might change my mind next school year-but right now I'm looking forward to his growing up a little.

Our yogurt date afterward......

I was bothered.....the place was playing Drake's "Started from the Bottom" UNEDITED. For anyone that might not know that means we were listening to "f-bombs" and the "n-word".......and not just once or twice those words are part of the chorus. Gage actually said, "Let's sit outside Mom". Then on our way out he said, "That guy needs to be more considerate of others.......did he not SEE ME?!?" So if you're considering the new Sweet Kiwi Yogurt by Vons-just be ready for the kid working there to be sharing his highly inappropriate iTunes play list. We won't be going back.

The twins are approaching 4 months and they are hilarious. I've spent the last two weeks trying to work on a schedule for them. By schedule I mean a VERY flexible schedule. Just something so that I can TRY to get the three little ones all down at the same time. I succeeded today-BLISS. They are sweet and almost always smile back if you smile at them. They smiled at each other for the first time earlier this week. It was really hard to capture but they caught each other's eye and Jay smiled, then Ashlyn smiled back....they went back and forth for a few minutes-it was so cute.

Gracie has been busy building her vocabulary and learning to sleep in her bed. Some of my favorite new words are "pantry" and "pops" which means popsicle. She was sick-first with a fever, then some kind of cold/cough, then she got stung by a bee.She's had a rough week but she was looking pretty good this morning.

She took the bee sting like a champ. I was doing the dishes while she sat out side with a "pops" and out of nowhere I heard her start crying, as I ran to her she said, "Bee.....bee.....beeeeee" but I had no idea what she meant until she showed me her little arm. I pulled out the stinger and put ice on it but she really didn't cry much. She's tough.


Okay, that was all written YESTERDAY so now for today.....

Gage had a Teddy Bear Picnic at school and families were invited. Gage didn't have a teddy bear so he took a monkey instead. I took all the kids with me and we were only five minutes late arriving, pretty good for me. The twins were pretty good......

Then after school I had the saddest thing happen......we took Ella (the back neighbor) home because Mandy, her mom, couldn't make the picnic. We invited her to come play after school and we stopped by their house first to drop a few things off. When we got back in the car I was a little behind the kids, I saw the back door open and I shut it............right on Ella's ankle!! She yelped and my heart sank and I just scooped her up like she was my own-I felt SO awful. When I got inside and told Mandy what happened she actually laughed a little as she grabbed Ella and said, "My mom used to do that ALL the time.....I swear at least once a month someone got something shut in the door-that's just how it goes when you have so many!" I was so glad she made light of it because my heart was broken. It's just another reason they are the best back neighbors.

Tomorrow is Gage's last day of Kindergarten.....and I feel the same as I did the last day of preschool-just fine. Not even a little nostalgic about his growing up. Looking forward to summer camps and first grade.

That was all actually written last week so I'm going to go ahead and post before I'm catching up on things that happened a month ago!!

Love.

Marriage Advice......from Noni

A few months before my cousin's wedding her best friend asked me to write my marriage advice for her. On one hand, because I have gone through a divorce, I hate giving marriage advice. On the other hand I think having a failed marriage makes my advice even better-I can advise one not to make the same mistakes I did. Upon writing my advice for her I decided to look back at the advice I was given when I got married. My great-grandmother....one of the inspirations for this blog (and the most recent twin in our family since mine) gave me the following advice:

1. A good marriage depends on two things-finding the right person and being the right person.
2. Don't expect life to be fair.
3. Save an evening a week for the two of you.
4. Be your mate's best friend.

I love this list for many reasons. The first is that she was well into her nineties when it was given so it was typed for her. Her signature is something I can visualize in my head from the cards she sent me as a child....her handwriting always looked painful to me.

As I wrote my advice for Valerie I thought about that first one......

"A good marriage depends on two things-finding the right person and being the right person"-any other advice is really useless if you don't find the right person. I would know. I remember my mother having the "sex talk" with me......about how promiscuity isn't becoming.....that our body isn't to be shared with just anyone......that saving myself for marriage isn't as realistic or easy as some make it seem.......so it might not happen-but it certainly needs to be saved for someone very special.....that it's one thing about ourselves that is ours alone and it should be cherished. My mom probably doesn't even remember that talk but I do. Someday I'll have that same kind of talk with Gracie and Ashlyn......but I'll have another one too.....about Noni's advice of finding the right person. That advice comes too late if you've already fallen in love and are planning a wedding. I will explain that red flags are there for a reason, that the right person will be a "nice guy", that everyone will like the right person......and what a blessing that I can tell my girls, "The right person will treat you the way dad treats me".

"Don't expect life to be fair"........pretty sure I was raised to know that life isn't fair and Matt was too. Everyone deals with life differently but we certainly don't keep score around here. I don't think about how many more diapers I change than Matt and he doesn't think about how much more he "works" than I do. We all do our part-I recognize that his job is stressful and he works very hard to provide for our family. He recognizes that staying home with the kids can be exhausting and that he would have no idea how to maintain our family without me. This is something that we've been really teaching Gage lately. You always do what's right even when it doesn't seem fair. Life isn't always fair-so don't bother keeping score-just do what's right.

"Save an evening a week for the two of you"......my great-grandparents had five daughters and I don't know if she gave this advice because they were able to do or something she wished they were able to do. Let's face it-Matt and I don't get much time to ourselves lately.....for a few reasons. One is the kids-when you're nursing it really is hard to get away from the babies. Yes, I can pump-but it's just not worth it sometimes. Another is that I simply don't ask for it.....right now the kids are pretty high on the priority list and we haven't made the effort to make time for ourselves. BUT-as part of my gift for Mother's Day Matt gave me one date night per month. He knows that I don't like to ask for things even as simple as date night-this way I won't have to feel guilty-it's a gift. We can go anywhere I want, anytime I want (around his work schedule).....it's not quite the once/week she suggested but it's a start. I used my first one yesterday. I decided on a day date instead and we went to Pismo's for lunch. We took our time.....we had cocktails.....and we enjoyed time by ourselves. I'm looking forward to the next one.

"Be your mate's best friend"-my great-grandmother was spending a quiet moment alone with my great-grandfather, Porgie, when he passed and she was overheard saying to him, "Goodbye old friend". Life is busy with four small children and sometimes I feel like Ashlyn is actually my best friend. She's a really good listener and she smiles at everything I say to her.

I think part of why time alone with Matt is important is so that we maintain a friendship within our marriage. My mom talks about how Porgie would bring Noni small gifts.....he would return from a hunting trip with a pretty piece of driftwood for the porch. Every Thursday after work Matt brings home a cinnamon crunch bagel for me to enjoy on Friday morning.....it's nothing big but it's special because he knows I love them and it brings just a little more joy to my Friday morning.

So there's some advice......from my Noni to you......

And here are some pics of Jay too.....he gets happier every day

Showing off his guns.....

I don't want you thinking it's all just pretty as a picture around here though.........

In the last post I mentioned Gracie taking off her diaper and how I decided I could let her go without it. I learned that I actually can't let her go without it-unless I'm willing to clean up poop. She pooped......kind of like a dog.....part of it was in front of the hall bath and another part of it in the entryway....like she was walking and going at the same time. It was awesome.

Until next time....

Love.