Ashlyn and Jay's Birth Story.....Part 1

Throughout the pregnancy with the twins I was open to whatever type of delivery we ended up with. I had done a lot of reading online and talking to people I just figured it would be a c-section. I didn't really push the issue with Dr. Swanson one way or another and the few times I brought it up he would just say it's something we would look at as the end approached. Every time I had an ultrasound the babies were both head down which is a major factor in delivery type. As I passed the 35 week mark Dr. Swanson indicated there might be a possibility for a natural delivery.......I seemed to be the ideal candidate but he wouldn't say for sure until the day arrived. When I use the term "natural" delivery......I don't mean drug free. I was reminded earlier this week that more people read than I realize so I'm going to use "natural" in place of the v-word.

Upon reaching the 39-week mark we scheduled an induction. It had been SO frustrating not to have a date set and I just couldn't believe I had made it to that point. Induction was scheduled for Friday then shortly after moved up to Valentine's Day. I already had an appointment scheduled for that morning at the office-we kept it so he could confirm their head down positions and check my progress. They were still head down and I was 3cm dilated. Dr. Swanson sent us straight to St. Agnes to start the induction.

I had been induced (after my water broke but I wasn't progressing) with Gage and Gracie and both deliveries were very easy. I had relatively little pain and both of them came within 8 hours. I went into the twins delivery thinking it wouldn't be much different. Pretty naive.

The induction started with Pitocin around 1:30 in the afternoon. Things were going pretty well and the anesthesiologist was sent in to get me set up before I was even in any real pain. This epidural just didn't feel the same. I felt pain, I felt heat, and something just seemed weird. I felt like I was going to pass out and it that feeling wouldn't go away. I started to have anxiety (which I never have) because I'd felt so faint, I couldn't stop shivering and something had just seemed different when I was getting the epidural. I did my best to take deep breaths and stay calm in attempt to curb the shivering. My mom and sister were in and out of the room along with my mother and father in law. Around 6:30 it came time to send me in to the operating room. I had to deliver in the operating room just in case an emergency c-section was necessary. After the first baby was delivered they would do an ultrasound to be sure the second baby hadn't flipped to breech position and I could continue without a c-section.

As they wheeled me in I heard an excited voice say, "There are LOTS of people here on your delivery team today!". I couldn't see everyone but I could hear several voices.....two anesthesiologists behind my head, another OB, Dr. Dickensen, there to assist Dr. Swanson, three nurses lined up against the cabinets, a nurse next to me, a nurse next to Dr. Swanson. I could only see Matt, Dr. Swanson, and my nurse, Tiffany. Then they moved me to the operating table where I had to lay flat. This is when my anxiety got REALLY bad. I hadn't been able to lay flat during the pregnancy since sometime around 4 months. Even a reclined position made me feel like I was going to pass out. So as I laid flat on the operating table the pressure of the babies again made me feel like I was going to faint. As the first baby moved into position I felt extreme pain against my ribs and short of breath and I was still shivering uncontrollably.

I had requested a lower dose for my epidural than I'd had with Gracie so I could definitely feel the contractions and the pressure to push. As it came time to push with the first baby I was still feeling short of breath and the pain in my ribs. After just three big pushes our precious baby girl had arrived. I felt IMMENSE relief. Suddenly the pressure under my ribs was gone. They quickly showed her to me on her way out. I heard, five pounds, thirteen ounces, 7:04pm......she had the tiniest little face I'd ever seen. But that was it-time to deliver our little boy. So they checked his position. Still head down so we were ready to continue on. Minutes passed and my cervix was back to only 7 cm dilated. I guess my body thought I was done. Pitocin was increased and I slowly dilated back to 9 cm. I never reached 10 cm but time was passing so I had to push.

Tiffany and Matt were watching my contractions on the monitor and helping coach me through each set of pushing. Three big pushes passed and this little guy wasn't going to come as easily. A few more rounds of pushing passed and I was starting to feel really tired. I had no idea how much time had passed but I remember thinking that my family was probably worried in the waiting room that I wasn't out yet. Fourteen rounds of pushing and over an hour later and he still wasn't out. Dr. Swanson was telling me that I needed to get it done......encouraging words from Tiffany and Matt were helping but I was feeling so weak and tired.....spent. Dr. Swanson said "You've got to get it done here, honey" and Matt was telling me that I could. I didn't know at the time but his heart rate was dropping and too much time was passing for his heart rate to be that low. I gave it everything I had-and an hour and twelve minutes after his sister, our little boy made his way into the world. I heard seven pounds, three ounces, 8:16pm.....they gave me a quick glance at him and he (at the time) looked just like her but bigger and darker. I cried.......I've always cried tears of joy when my babies were born but I have to say-these were tears of tired. I was exhausted. When they read his birth time I couldn't believe over an hour had passed in between.

I know my mom, sister and in-laws were there. Jeff, Hally and Lauren came to the hospital that night and brought us burgers from In-and-Out (Side note just for Ally-I kept telling Matt to go ahead and eat his even though I was busy nursing and couldn't eat yet-he refused and insisted on waiting for me, ha!). I'm just not even sure I acknowledged anyone being there. I know my nurse came in when the shift changed and I'm not even sure I said thank you.

There are no words to express my gratitude for the whole experience. Believe it or not-this recovery has been no worse (in fact in some ways better) than the first two. My pelvic bones are in more discomfort as I shift back but otherwise I'm better off than I was with the other two. I am so thankful Dr. Swanson went through with the natural delivery (his first of twins in 14 years according to Matt). Tiffany was an amazing nurse. She was gentle yet very encouraging.....I could feel her genuine concern for the babies and me and I felt very well cared for. I want to give her the biggest hug. I'm so grateful for all of the hands that were at work in the operating room for the delivery looking out for me and my tiny babies. And Matt......he was so encouraging. I know he was getting worried at the end but I found he gave me such strength. And God-I prayed many times through the labor and delivery and found peace in knowing He is always with me-His rod and staff they comfort me.

The experience wasn't all as pretty and perfect as I'd imagined it would be. I had been joking with my friend Courtney about how with the induction I would finally be able to put on a little make-up and have my hair done for a delivery (Gage and Gracie both came in the middle of the night and I had to roll out of bed). Then right after the epidural a cold cloth had to be put on my forehead and there went my hair.....it dripped down my face and there went my make up. Dang. It was painful at times......frightening at times......and certainly exhausting.....in the same breath it couldn't have been any more perfect......

More to come....

Love

I can't believe they're still in here......

I'm sure most of you thought my next blog post would be on the twins arrival--yeah, me too........

I'm not really sure why I thought the babies would be here by now.......I guess since Gage and Gracie came at the average time (near due dates) and they were pretty much average size babies I thought the twins would follow the average too. We're on the LONG side now-I'm trying to look at the up side of that but it's hard. It sounds strange but I want to do a jumping jack......or a jump squat......or walk the trail.......something that makes me feel like I'm in control of my body-because right now-I don't.

At my last appointment Dr. Swanson decided that he would see me tomorrow (Monday), if they haven't come on their own by then, and we'll make a decision about what we want to do. It's rare for twins and their mothers to be without any complications at this point-but like he said-I could be the poster child for carrying twins. I have done A LOT (probably too much) reading online and it's hard to sort through what's research based and what's just someone's experience. I kept reading and hearing that twins should come by 38 weeks because the tides turn and it becomes more dangerous to leave them in. I've since learned that's based on placental degradation and is really just a risk for twins that share a placenta-and ours don't. I have also learned that from this point (I'm now just over 38 weeks) there doesn't seem to be any data showing any benefit to them staying in any longer. So that will make the decision tough on Monday-to induce or to wait a little longer? I just can't even believe I might have to make that decision.....I thought they would have been here by now.

I have to remember that I am still the envy of many mothers-those who are struggling to have babies, those that had their twins come too early, those that had to spend time with their babies in the NICU wondering if and when they would get to come home, those who had trouble for weeks getting their babies to nurse because they weren't mature enough to latch on. It could certainly be worse than waiting......and I keep my focus there.

To take my mind off of the wait I finally just gave in and brought my sewing stuff back out......a few pacifier clips......

a couple of little knit hats.....
a few tie onesies-nothing too big but enough to keep me busy while I wait around for these two........

In big kid news Gage has lost one of his front teeth.......

and Gracie has just been busy growing her hair.........

 and horseback riding........

This chalkboard was another sweet gift from the Spencer's........it will probably have this little saying for quite a while cause I've never been great at writing with chalk-time for a Pinterest tutorial.........

Next post will HOPEFULLY share the story of the twins arrival..........

Love.