Duck Dynasty, Mother Theresa and some pics of the kids......

This blog is wayward.......sometimes just a journal to remind myself and my children of our life experiences, sometimes a therapeutic break for this overwhelmed mama, sometimes a way to remind myself how to be the best example for my children.....

I avoid controversy-by nature. I'm not confrontational....and for that reason I avoid topics that might ignite confrontation. But today, I'm pushing myself out of my comfort zone....

Social media has been in a frenzy regarding the suspension of Phil Robertson from the A&E show Duck Dynasty for his anti-gay sentiments. If you're here, you've probably come from Facebook and I'm sure you've seen the uproar. My feed was bogged down and I was baited into reading a few posts and following comments........it made me feel sick to my stomach. That's what conflict does to me........now you know the real reason I avoid it.

What I saw, was so much hate and ugliness-from both sides. One poor lady said, "Praying for all involved" and someone responded, "Go ahead and PRAY you stupid sheep. That's the answer-you dumb-ass". Wow. For just a simple statement that she would pray? On the other side there was a guy posting, "$%* the gays, let 'em rot in hell". Again-wow. That's really your best contribution to the conversation?

From controversy like this I hope I can teach my children a better way.......

What I really thought regarding all of the posts and comments on the Phil Robertson/A&E issue was, "These people just need to shut up". But that's not really useful so I went out in search of better words to teach my children in these controversial topics-they should probably just be quiet. What I found in my search for words was a list by Mother Theresa on how to practice humility. Her list includes "To speak as little as possible of one's self.....to pass over the mistakes of others......not to want to manage other peoples affairs.....to accept being slighted, forgotten and disliked........to be kind and gentle even under provocation".  Those would certainly cure all the evils I saw in this controversy.

"To speak as little as possible of one's self"-As I read through the ugly comments I wondered, "Why do these people think their thoughts are so important? So relevant? Why would they think they could speak such words-to anyone, ever". I hope to teach my children that they are not so important that they need to speak, post, or comment on everything that happens around them.

James 1:20 tells us Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger;

Slow to speak....

"To pass over the mistakes of others"-Everybody makes them. My friend Kirtie and I just talked on this last week.....sometimes people say and do things that are hurtful-I still have enough faith in humanity to believe that nine times out of ten-they don't mean to be hurtful. A while ago I shared this post that included a story about a former student and a hurtful comment I made. He chose to look beyond my mistake and know that it was just that-a mistake, and I didn't mean to hurt him. When my children get hurt feelings-I want them to be able to move on from what happened and forgive.

Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another as Christ forgave you. Ephesians 4:32

"Not want to manage other peoples affairs"-It's none of our business.....I think that's true regarding just about everything.

Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven. Luke 6:37 

"To accept being slighted, forgotten, and disliked"-This is a hard one for all of us.....but it happens and we need to get over it. It's my intention to teach my children that-sometimes your life decisions or just the cards you've been dealt will result in being rejected or discounted. Accept that.....because you are dearly loved by your Heavenly Father no matter what.

God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God in him. 1 John 4:16

"To be kind and gentle even under provocation"-So important. I hope I can teach my children this self-control. You will be provoked.....do not respond with ugliness or hate.

James 1:19-20 tells us Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger, for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.

It's my intention to be the best example I can, but I'm certainly not perfect. Today is Christmas Eve......regrettably, I was just "quick to anger" with Gage on this precious morning.  We can only do our best.

Here are some pictures of our precious babies......

It's been tough to keep them still enough for a pic.....

 This is pretty much where he is every time I'm trying to cook dinner.....

 Pics with Santa at Copper River.....Gracie would NOT sit with Santa and sadly, Gage missed out this year

 Anytime I sit down I've got these two all over me....

 Making homemade pizza.....it's hard to get any pics of Gage

 Love this girl.....

 And this sweet boy.....

 and this little baby girl....

 My friend Chrissy took this one.....

 and this one...

 and this....which pretty much sums these two up. Ashlyn is content with whatever....and Jay-is not.

This post took me a while to write because my life has been consumed with my children and getting ready for Christmas.....but I wanted to reflect and organize my thoughts before it got too far away.

Tonight we will put the kids to bed and we will await the wonder of Christmas morning. It's beautiful and I hope to capture the joy of Christmas with my family tonight and tomorrow.

Merry Christmas to all that read.....

Love.

Matt, me and quiet

Last weekend Matt and I went to Carmel. Just us, no kids. My mom kept Jay and Ashlyn while Gage and Gracie got to stay and play with cousins at Auntie Amy and Uncle Phil's.

Carmel is a special place for us because one of the first "dates" Matt took me on was to the Pro-Am at Pebble Beach. Last year we went around this same time but I was the size of a small Carmel cottage so it wasn't quite as enjoyable as this year. We made no plans outside of dinner reservations. This trip we went to Pacific's Edge restaurant for the first time and I would definitely recommend it. The clam chowder was fantastic and our dessert (chocolate croissant bread pudding with salted caramel ice cream) was to die for. It was better bread pudding than Cracked Pepper. Yes. I said it. Better than Cracked Pepper. It was too dark for us to enjoy the view but we could see the moonlight on the water and I can imagine it's spectacular when the daylight hours are longer.

My only regret about the trip was that I didn't get a few pics. I'm still working on the selfie.....I can take pics of myself with the kids but with the hubs......still warming up to that.

It was nice to have time as husband and wife.....without being mom and dad. We sat at dinner for a long time just enjoying the uninterrupted conversation.....knowing there was no rush to get in baths, brushing, and books before bed.

But these faces were waiting......

and we missed them.

We are busy enjoying the time counting down to Christmas. Builder has remembered to move every night and we've spent the evenings watching holiday movies. Yesterday Matt brought home the peppermint M&Ms and I cut Gage's sandwich with the Christmas tree cookie cutter. We probably won't make Christmas Tree Lane or frost cookies but we're doing pretty well considering.

More on the kids next post.

Love

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas......

at the Creighton house. We kept the tree pretty simple this year, for us. I'm a little worried about how the tree with hold up with two crawlers pulling on all the bottom branches (you can see the ornaments get sparse toward the bottom). We put the twins to bed before trimming the tree......update to come on how they do....

 Gage and Gracie

I just love this picture of them......in my dreams they're both in their holiday pajamas but that's just not our real life.

The time is flying and there is so much I want to get done before Christmas. I want to sew stockings for the twins, make a few gifts, watch all the holiday movies, bake cookies, walk Christmas Tree Lane, make a gingerbread house, and I'm wondering if ANY of it will get done. I love the traditions of the holidays but with our life the way it is right now I've got to let some go-we can't do everything, we'll be lucky to do anything. The most interesting thing our elf will do this year is ride the camel in our nativity and that's good enough for me. I still don't get why some elves make messes and pull pranks. I have enough messes and misbehavior around here-WHY would I add to it?!

When Gage was four years old I thought, "This will be last year this kid believes in Santa" and I really thought it would be true. He asked question.....after question.....after question. How does he visit all those houses? How can he be at every mall? How come every Santa I see looks different? Why would he wear a fake beard? It just went on and on. But the next year, even when our elf (Builder) arrived with a TAG on his bottom, Gage still believed. Last year, since all the other kids in kindergarten believed-so did Gage. He did tell me that one kid (to remain anonymous) told him that there was no Santa. It was the kid that got sent to the principal at least once a week. Easy explanation-obviously he's just on the naughty list. Now Gage is seven, and as far as I know-we still have a believer on our hands.......

The year that I was seven is one I remember more clearly than others. I don't have a great memory of my childhood but the year I was seven stands out.

My parents divorced shortly before my seventh birthday. So the Christmas I was seven we were living (when we were with my mom) at my Grandma Jan's. Christmas morning came and everyone was opening gifts. I remember noticing that Amy and Josh both got something.....notable. Okay, I don't know about notable-let's say decent-and I did not. My stomach hurt.....tons of questions were swirling around in my head and I was OVERWHELMED with emotion. I cried. My mom (and later step-dad) saw that I was upset and brought out the BIG surprise from Santa-a new bike. I cried some more. My parents assured me that Santa brought me this wonderful bicycle and that I must have been a good girl, everything was okay........

But it wasn't. Because what I NEVER, in the 25 years that have passed, told my mother-is that I already knew there was no Santa. So when I thought I hadn't received a gift I wasn't wondering why Santa didn't deliver-I was asking myself......Is my mom mad at me? Did I do something wrong? Did I say something I shouldn't have? Was there not enough money? Will we ever have enough money? Will we be okay? Am I going to be okay? I was trying to keep it together.....I didn't want to seem greedy or unappreciative of what I did receive but my stomach hurt, I got a giant lump in my throat and the tears poured down........

It was just a bad year. My parents had been in turmoil over custody and money and all of the ugliness that comes with divorce. I had probably seen and heard more than I should have. That year was the beginning of something new and though it didn't start out great, every year things got better.

The good news is when I think about Christmas and my childhood-that year isn't even close to first thing that comes to mind. Riding on a trailer with hay bales singing Christmas carols with the Church of Christ, Uncle Wes dressed as Santa at my grandparents for Christmas Eve, Lip Smackers in my stocking, circling my wishes in the JCPenney catalog, my mother reading How the Grinch Stole Christmas, making cutout Christmas cookies, painting ornaments, picking out the perfect tree, trimming the tree, helping Steve get Griswold with the lights, that movie-Christmas Vacation, the noise, noise, noise of the Darnell Christmas Eve, those are the kinds of things I think about.

There's a famous quote by Maya Angelou, "People will forget what you said. People will forget what you did. But people will never forget how you made them feel." That's how I want to approach Christmas.......the kids will (hopefully) forget what gifts they were given.....they will forget what they "wished for" from Santa......but they will never forget the way they felt.

I don't remember a single gift I got as a kid aside from that bike. Almost everything else.....everything GOOD I remember about the holidays-was something I did. I hope my children have that same experience. I hope they don't remember their gifts....and I try not to spend my energy on that......because that isn't what matters for our family. I hope they remember our efforts to find the perfect tree. I hope they never forget the feelings they experienced listening to the sounds of Christmas Eve at Uncle Jeff and Auntie Janet's, or the excitement and anticipation of opening gifts......as opposed to the gifts themselves. I hope they remember the time spent baking cookies with me, and the drama of making sure the lights on the tree were spaced out just right. I hope they remember sharing popcorn and laughing together as we watched Christmas Vacation. I hope they recall setting out the nativity and talking about the birth of Christ, our Savior. I hope they remember the feeling of choosing just the right gift-for someone else. I hope they remember the blessing of an abundant family to share holidays with. Because......

"Seeing is believing, but sometimes the most real things in the world are the things we can't see" -The Polar Express

The bell still rings for me and I hope it always does for them (and you) too......

Love.