I think I've mentioned before that Matt
and I aren't sure if we're "done" having children. I thought I'd
heard all the reasons out there as to why we should be-"Kids are so
expensive.....how will you afford sending them all to college.....you won't
have enough time to devote to each of them". Recently I heard one I hadn't
heard before. I was told that the likelihood of having four happy and healthy
children who would grow up to be happy healthy adults was very slim-so we
should stop where we are. I have to mention that the person that said it probably hasn't experienced much struggle or strife, so I laughed a little on the inside. I almost wanted to put my hand on his shoulder and say, "It's okay.....it's okay when lives don't turn out perfect."
It's really been on my heart lately to think about how to raise my children to be content as adults. I want them to dream and have hope for big
things but, more importantly, I want them to be content if and when those
dreams and plans don't come to fruition. I want them to know that sometimes in life you'll give it everything you have and it still won't work out-that's okay, it happens to everyone sometimes.
People always comment on how laid back I am. I think it's mostly just the way God made me, but in other ways it comes from a conscious effort. Take my marriage, I'm sure if I looked for reasons to be unhappy-I could find
them. Every now and again I get annoyed that I change so many more diapers than Matt. But then I remind myself that although I wipe more buns and brush more teeth, he bears the burden of financially supporting our family. My aunt
said, "You only keep score if you want there to be a winner and a
loser." I hadn't thought about it that way but it's true. It's all a wash because we know we both do our part, just differently. I hope our children see and learn that we are content because we look for what's good and we don't keep score.
I also hope they learn not to compare-because that will never breed contentment. There will always be someone
or something better. I have found myself making
a comparison between my life and someone who has one more......glamorous. You know, someone who goes places where snot covered yoga pants aren't acceptable attire. But
I've learned not to do that by putting things into perspective. Matt bought a trip to I can't even
remember where, Cabo or Cancun or something, at a fundraising auction a while
back. After some time and talking we realized that a trip like that just isn't
something we can do so we gave the trip away as a gift. I could have been bummed about the fact that we can't go-because I would love to take a vacay. But, as much as I would love beach vacation, I am SO blessed that
these guys
are the reason we can't go.
My life isn't glamorous or alluring......my house is never clean, I can't afford a new wardrobe, I eat the leftover peanut butter and jelly from Gracie's plate for lunch, I have a small child in my bed several nights a week, I don't even have a real bra that fits because a sports bra can be worn anywhere I go....but this is the life I chose, it is far better than most, and I am happy to be raising my four precious babies.
I know that my kids won't grow up to be
"perfect"-no matter how many I have. There will be times where they
cause me grief, fear, and disappointment. They will make many choices that will take them to many places, but I hope that wherever my kids go-they have had an example and have been taught the skills to have a content life.
I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to live in plenty. For I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all things through Him who gives me strength.
Philippians 4:11-13
I hope that wherever you are, you're content.
Love.
