Usually controversial topics aren't my thing but this Harambe thing has me just a little riled up. I write this blog as therapy, a way to reflect. As a way to be
thoughtful of my parenting and to let my children know how much I
love them. Because this will be old news in two weeks, I'm going get this written down now.
A mother and her 4 year old son (some sites say 3) were at the Cincinnati Zoo. The boy made his way into the gorilla exhibit. He was in the exhibit with the gorilla for several minutes. A zoo staff member, in the best interest of the boy's safety, killed the gorilla. Now, there's a great deal of other information floating around the internet that I'm not sure is true or not. All of it is rather irrelevant to make my point.
Here are some comments I've read regarding the incident:
So there was the celebrity: "Shame on those for the murdering of #Harambe" -Kelly Osbourne
Also the person who very likely has no experience or further education in animal behavior but is a clear animal expert: "no it wasn't safest for the child the gorilla was protecting the child. yes he drug him through the water but thats how they do there kind it was a shamless murder" (I'm pretty sure that was supposed to be shameless, and never mind the grammar-remember, these aren't my words)
The non-parent with parenting advice: "I just think that if you are a parent there are baby leashes that leash your children you can't control."
The person that has no sympathy for children that aren't as well behaved as her own: "Sorry. My kids never even wanted to misbehave in that manner at the zoo! My sympathy goes with the primate, he was endangered the kid wasn't. The parents need to compensate the zoo for their loss!!"
The perfect parents: "My kids NEVER left my side at that age!! They were ALWAYS holding my hand!! I ALWAYS made sure they were by my side in the mall, at the zoo, at the park, etc." A comment from another followed, "Absolutely!! I have three and they NEVER wandered off and NEVER left my sight!!"
When these things happen I can't help but wonder how my children would react and how they would feel when they're old enough to respond in a public forum. What I hope, hope, hope my grown children say and feel in response to this incident:
What a tragic accident.
Thank God that little boy walked away alive.
I empathize with that family. Something that could have happened to anyone, in their case, had tragic consequences.
Thankfully, the zoo employee had that child's best interest in mind. May he be at peace knowing he did what he thought was best.
What a sobering reminder of how vigilant we have to be in watching our children.
I'll use this to remind my children of how important it is to mind and follow directions, especially at places away from home.
Because honestly-don't be so negative. And if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.
There was someone that commented, and even though I don't agree with her-she was right. I couldn't find exactly what she said but this covers the idea. There was an article on Scary Mommy basically defending the mother as people are calling to have her investigated for child neglect. There were many mothers defending with comments that we've all made mistakes and lost track of our kids for just a split second. The person I'm referring to commented to say that yes, we probably have all lost sight of our kids for a second BUT-if this child had been with a baby sitter, a teacher, a child care provider we would all be singing a different tune about how that provider should have been more careful and diligent in keeping watch of that child.
She's probably right.
I thought back to last year when a child drowned at a local swim school (which, by the way, solidified our decision not to put in a pool). Many parents were outraged that such a thing could happen. I wasn't. I was VERY sad, but not outraged. Accidents happen. A child slipping out of sight does not equate to negligence. It just doesn't. Negligence is when no one is even bothering to look for the missing child.
There doesn't ALWAYS have to be someone to blame and pay the price. Sometimes there are just tragic accidents.
Kids are up now, so I'm off to talk to Gage about this.
I hope to be back sooner than later.
Love.
Wednesday, June 1, 2016
Monday, March 28, 2016
Party of Seven
It's been WAY too long since I wrote a post
On the birth of Evelyn.....
My due date was the 13th of February, but we scheduled an induction for the 11th. If you're wondering why-it's because we could. I really wanted my physician to deliver so I scheduled a day when knew he would be there. Plus, with four other kids to figure out care for it seemed easier with a planned date. The others were all technically induced so I figured it was going that way anyway.
That morning the hospital called at 4:15am, as Matt and I were on our way out of the door, and postponed the induction. There was no room at the inn. We were already up and at it so we decided to start our day. We went to Starbucks, ran to Walmart (which is the only place open at 6am) for last minute birthday stuff for the twins, then by the lot to take care of a few things with the house. We ended up heading to hospital at more like 11:30am and induction started around 1:30pm. At 7:02pm we learned that our surprise baby was a precious girl. I was actually really surprised, I thought I was having a boy. She was our biggest baby, weighing 7lbs, 10oz at 20.5" long. You really do forget how little they are because Matt and I both thought she was going to be one our smallest. She looked a lot like Gracie to me at first, same coloring and same little notch in her gums. She had wide eyes like Gracie and didn't come out crying-just curiously looking around.
As with all of our children, naming her was an arduous process. Having been a teacher I have a lot of names that are an immediate "no" for me. Evelyn "Evie" was a name that we had considered when we had Ashlyn. I had a student named Evie and she had bright eyes and a calm nature. For anyone who isn't sure, we pronounce Evie with a short "e" sound. And for anyone that doesn't recall the difference between short/long vowel sounds-the short "e" sound is the same sound as in Evelyn, or elephant. Again, it came down to the wire, where we had to give her a name or stay another night in the hospital.
We got lucky. The only newly remodeled room in postpartum opened up for us JUST in time. So Matt was able to stay with me and I didn't have to share a room. My night nurse (with an accent) said, "You stay another night? This like hotel---so nice. You stay, enjoy!" No. I HATE the hospital and would never stay any longer than I had to. It made me pause for a minute. I realized that for many women they see-that hospital room is probably much more appealing than going home. What a blessing that our home is far better. Really. Think about that.
I talked to Gage via Facetime the evening I delivered so he could see her. He let out a little disappointed "aww" when he learned she was a girl. Then we brought her home and he fell absolutely in love. Every day when he comes home from school or back from his dad's house he asks to hold her.
When we brought her home from the hospital it was pretty late but Jay was still awake. We introduced them and he said, "Where's the boy one? The boy baby for me and Gage? This is the girl baby for the girls-where's the boy one?" It was hilarious. He was so serious.
The girls are both over the moon about having another sister. Gracie wants to hold her all the time. I have really been able to see Gracie's nurturing spirit. Ash is helpful with fetching and tossing diapers or picking out her clothes.
On becoming a family of seven.....
When I was pregnant I DREADED the question-how are you feeling? I wanted to just smile and walk away so I wouldn't have to lie......or tell the truth. Honestly, I was exhausted. I was tired to the point that my brain was like a fog. One time I was at the fabric store and the lady asked me how much yardage I needed. I just stood there in silence. It really felt like I was trying to search through the fog in my brain for an answer but couldn't find one. I could not come up with an anything. Another time I called our doctor's office about a rash that Gracie had. After talking to the nurse for a good ten minutes and explaining all of her symptoms she asked me in a confused tone-"Okay..........so you're worried that this is going to harm the baby somehow?" And then I realized that that I had called my OB/GYN office instead of the pediatrician. I was crazy tired but I didn't want to be honest-because I did this to myself. It wasn't as though Baby #5 was a surprise. I just imagined people thinking, "If you're so exhausted, and can't get it together-why would you have another one?" I felt embarrassed to be having another baby.
Those feelings linger now that she's here. A couple weeks ago, at Gracie's gymnastics class, I was "wearing" Evie in the wrap carrier. Toward the end of her class Jay fell through the bleachers. The sound of his fall was awful. I had trouble getting him out from under the bleachers because he weighs a ton and I was carrying Evie. When I lifted him up there was blood going all over and he was screaming. The fall turned out to be very minor and the cut was so small we could hardly find it by that afternoon. But, in the moment it seemed awful. Other moms jumped to help me. One quickly offered to tend to Ash, another ran to get first aid supplies, another helped me carry him while applying pressure to stop the bleeding. As I held him, while another mom helped me clean up and care for him, I began to feel tears well up in my eyes. I was suddenly burning up and trying my best to hold back tears. I felt every person in the room staring at us. I felt like everyone was thinking that it happened because my hands are too full.
The truth is, it didn't. I wasn't distracted at all. We were in conversation. I was looking right at him, telling him to take his puzzle back down to the ground. It could have easily happened to any other mom that had a toddler there. But it happened to me. And I have filled my hands more than most people would. I shouldn't care, but I can't help it.
I messaged my imaginary friend on Facebook. I kid, she's not imaginary. But I will admit I've never actually met her in person. She's married to Matt's college roommate. They have five children by choice, too. If there weren't several states between us I'm sure we'd be real life friends. She reminded me that there is something so amazing in creating an eternal soul. She continued by sending me a link to a blog written by a mother of nine. Upon reading, I came to realize that I ought not let the world squash this beautiful gift from God. By being worried about what people think and feeling embarrassed I am taking away from the precious family God has given us.
Arriving at the hospital
Recently some of our dear friends had their first baby. She told me that she didn't know she could love something so much. I told her that's why I keep having them. They drive me bananas. They make my house, my car, and my entire life a complete disaster. But my love for them is beyond measure. The greatest gift since Evie's arrival has been to see the other kids express their love for her.
I hope to be back soon. But we're moving in three weeks (or so they say) so it's unlikely.
Love.
On the birth of Evelyn.....
My due date was the 13th of February, but we scheduled an induction for the 11th. If you're wondering why-it's because we could. I really wanted my physician to deliver so I scheduled a day when knew he would be there. Plus, with four other kids to figure out care for it seemed easier with a planned date. The others were all technically induced so I figured it was going that way anyway.
That morning the hospital called at 4:15am, as Matt and I were on our way out of the door, and postponed the induction. There was no room at the inn. We were already up and at it so we decided to start our day. We went to Starbucks, ran to Walmart (which is the only place open at 6am) for last minute birthday stuff for the twins, then by the lot to take care of a few things with the house. We ended up heading to hospital at more like 11:30am and induction started around 1:30pm. At 7:02pm we learned that our surprise baby was a precious girl. I was actually really surprised, I thought I was having a boy. She was our biggest baby, weighing 7lbs, 10oz at 20.5" long. You really do forget how little they are because Matt and I both thought she was going to be one our smallest. She looked a lot like Gracie to me at first, same coloring and same little notch in her gums. She had wide eyes like Gracie and didn't come out crying-just curiously looking around.
As with all of our children, naming her was an arduous process. Having been a teacher I have a lot of names that are an immediate "no" for me. Evelyn "Evie" was a name that we had considered when we had Ashlyn. I had a student named Evie and she had bright eyes and a calm nature. For anyone who isn't sure, we pronounce Evie with a short "e" sound. And for anyone that doesn't recall the difference between short/long vowel sounds-the short "e" sound is the same sound as in Evelyn, or elephant. Again, it came down to the wire, where we had to give her a name or stay another night in the hospital.
We got lucky. The only newly remodeled room in postpartum opened up for us JUST in time. So Matt was able to stay with me and I didn't have to share a room. My night nurse (with an accent) said, "You stay another night? This like hotel---so nice. You stay, enjoy!" No. I HATE the hospital and would never stay any longer than I had to. It made me pause for a minute. I realized that for many women they see-that hospital room is probably much more appealing than going home. What a blessing that our home is far better. Really. Think about that.
I talked to Gage via Facetime the evening I delivered so he could see her. He let out a little disappointed "aww" when he learned she was a girl. Then we brought her home and he fell absolutely in love. Every day when he comes home from school or back from his dad's house he asks to hold her.
When we brought her home from the hospital it was pretty late but Jay was still awake. We introduced them and he said, "Where's the boy one? The boy baby for me and Gage? This is the girl baby for the girls-where's the boy one?" It was hilarious. He was so serious.
The girls are both over the moon about having another sister. Gracie wants to hold her all the time. I have really been able to see Gracie's nurturing spirit. Ash is helpful with fetching and tossing diapers or picking out her clothes.
On becoming a family of seven.....
When I was pregnant I DREADED the question-how are you feeling? I wanted to just smile and walk away so I wouldn't have to lie......or tell the truth. Honestly, I was exhausted. I was tired to the point that my brain was like a fog. One time I was at the fabric store and the lady asked me how much yardage I needed. I just stood there in silence. It really felt like I was trying to search through the fog in my brain for an answer but couldn't find one. I could not come up with an anything. Another time I called our doctor's office about a rash that Gracie had. After talking to the nurse for a good ten minutes and explaining all of her symptoms she asked me in a confused tone-"Okay..........so you're worried that this is going to harm the baby somehow?" And then I realized that that I had called my OB/GYN office instead of the pediatrician. I was crazy tired but I didn't want to be honest-because I did this to myself. It wasn't as though Baby #5 was a surprise. I just imagined people thinking, "If you're so exhausted, and can't get it together-why would you have another one?" I felt embarrassed to be having another baby.
Those feelings linger now that she's here. A couple weeks ago, at Gracie's gymnastics class, I was "wearing" Evie in the wrap carrier. Toward the end of her class Jay fell through the bleachers. The sound of his fall was awful. I had trouble getting him out from under the bleachers because he weighs a ton and I was carrying Evie. When I lifted him up there was blood going all over and he was screaming. The fall turned out to be very minor and the cut was so small we could hardly find it by that afternoon. But, in the moment it seemed awful. Other moms jumped to help me. One quickly offered to tend to Ash, another ran to get first aid supplies, another helped me carry him while applying pressure to stop the bleeding. As I held him, while another mom helped me clean up and care for him, I began to feel tears well up in my eyes. I was suddenly burning up and trying my best to hold back tears. I felt every person in the room staring at us. I felt like everyone was thinking that it happened because my hands are too full.
The truth is, it didn't. I wasn't distracted at all. We were in conversation. I was looking right at him, telling him to take his puzzle back down to the ground. It could have easily happened to any other mom that had a toddler there. But it happened to me. And I have filled my hands more than most people would. I shouldn't care, but I can't help it.
I messaged my imaginary friend on Facebook. I kid, she's not imaginary. But I will admit I've never actually met her in person. She's married to Matt's college roommate. They have five children by choice, too. If there weren't several states between us I'm sure we'd be real life friends. She reminded me that there is something so amazing in creating an eternal soul. She continued by sending me a link to a blog written by a mother of nine. Upon reading, I came to realize that I ought not let the world squash this beautiful gift from God. By being worried about what people think and feeling embarrassed I am taking away from the precious family God has given us.
Arriving at the hospital
She safely arrived
They love her
Precious
I hope to be back soon. But we're moving in three weeks (or so they say) so it's unlikely.
Love.
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