As I made breakfast I thought I could probably do just a little something. So I dyed the milk green with food coloring. It took all the food coloring I had to make that gallon turn green. Then I was annoyed with myself for even doing it, I let guilt get to me. Gage saw the milk and asked why the leprechaun hadn't done something more, like leave footprints or make a mess. Because I don't want to clean up another frickin' mess, THAT'S why!!!
The day before that we were all in the car on the way to Gage's baseball game. Gage mentioned that he was hoping the Easter Bunny would bring him a wooden scooter for Easter. Um.....what!? Excuse me? The Easter Bunny is not Santa my friend. I quickly put the kibosh on that by explaining that the Bunny brings eggs and maybe a few small treats. I mean, look at these Easter Baskets.....
My kids have enough "stuff" and I'm hard at work trying not to let guilt get to me.
A few weeks ago Alyssa (our sitter) and I went through and cleaned out Gage's room. When we moved in this house his room never really started out well so it's been tough for him to keep it organized. But, he'd let it get REALLY out of control so I had a talk with him about how I would take care of the major cleaning but then he needed to be better about the upkeep. Long story short he lied about his room being clean more than once. I realized that it honestly wasn't entirely his fault, it was mine. I'd given too many warnings and too many chances and he just figured that was going to continue. A few times I'd actually threatened to throw toys out while he was at school but I was so busy that I never got time to even check if it was clean. So last week, when he failed to clean his room again, I followed through with my warning and threw out several of his toys-even a fairly new favorite. He cried and said, "This is terrible!! This hurts me, Mom!! You're hurting me!!" To which I replied, "YES!! I am."......."So you want to hurt me?!"......."No, but I'm going to. It was YOU that chose not to clean your room and lie about it-not me. Your choices are the reason your toys are being thrown out. This is the consequence."
It sucked. It sucked for him but it sucked for me too. It's not the first time I've done that, and I'm certain it won't be the last. But it's never easy. I really didn't want to throw out one of his favorites. I had to remind myself that if he had just made a different decision-to clean his room, none of this would have happened. He was given a warning about the consequence and he still made the wrong choice.
It reminded me of the St. Patrick's Day let down. It sucks to disappoint the kids. Even though I knew I shouldn't-I felt guilty that I didn't do more for St. Patrick's Day. And even though I knew I shouldn't-I felt guilty throwing away Gage's toys. This article, 9 Things We Should Get Rid of to Help Our Kids, was floating around Facebook last week. It covered some of what I was feeling. The fact is the lessons he learns are much more important and long-lasting than the twinge of guilt I feel.
Gage was disappointed about the leprechaun not making a mess. But Matt helped him build a leprechaun trap and I'm sure he got much more out of that than he would have seeing green footprints and receiving a gift. He lost a few toys but hopefully he'll learn the importance of being honest and keeping his belongings in their place.
Earlier this week I picked up Gage from baseball practice. He told me that he hoped his dad would get married, but he didn't want him to have any more kids. I explained that it might be hard for him to meet a really nice girl that also didn't want children because most women want to have kids. Gage said, "Yeah, because they don't know how hard it is!!" I laughed. He's probably right. Sometimes being a parent is hard......like when you have to dole out consequences.......
But the rewards are so sweet.....
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