The Creighton Family: It takes a village......

I'm sure you've all heard the saying, "It takes a village to raise a child". It's origins are unknown, but I'm telling you-I live by it.

Often I'm complimented (at least I take it that way) on how calm I am. "I don't know how you do it! I can't believe you would even THINK of having one more!" In part, I think it's the "It takes a village..." approach.

When the twins were born, Gage was in kindergarten. In the months before they arrived, our back neighbors offered to take Gage to/from school for the rest of the school year. At first, I had a hard time accepting. It wasn't that I was worried about him, they are the best neighbors ever. It was that I felt guilty. I felt like it was my job to get him to/from school......even if it meant misery for myself and the three little ones. I hesitantly accepted the offer.

It was the start to something life changing. It changed my approach to mothering.

The following year we carpooled most days after school. A couple days a week I would give her kids a ride home and most of the others, she would give Gage a ride. I realized then, that throwing a few more kids in my car was really no big deal. What had saved easily an hour from my day the year before, had cost her an extra five minutes and one more loud voice on the ride home. It was just another kid in the car for her-but for me it was HUGE. It meant that I didn't have to (twice a day) worry that my newborn twins and one year old were all fed and changed by a certain time. I didn't have to get myself dressed in real clothes or load and unload three little ones from car seats. I didn't have to wait in the drop off and pick up lines and shush little ones from the drivers seat. I didn't have to vie for the perfect parking spot-where his kindergarten teacher could see me, but I could be close enough to leave the car running and not to have unload the little ones. It meant that I didn't have to wake babies from their naps. It was amazing. It saved me over an hour every day. And for her it was just another kid in the car for the ride. Sometimes taking a child off of a mama's hands for a simple task or a short time isn't even hard and can offer that mom SO much help.

The reason it was so life changing for me is that it made me realize that it's okay to accept help. I don't need to feel guilty. Even more than to accept help, I've learned it's okay to ask for help.

I ask my village for all kinds of things.....ride to baseball or home from church, help for an appointment, mothering advice (from discipline to school lunches), school calendar reminders, tending my kids for an appointment, keeping the little ones so I can watch Gracie's swim lesson without chasing them, wardrobe sharing, last minute rides from school, a picture of the spelling words for the week, you name it.

As mothers we shouldn't be afraid to ask each other for a little helping hand. I KNOW that it doesn't always feel easy. We're so busy that we assume other mamas are busy and we just don't want to impose. I would encourage you to just TRY it. Today I took a friend of Gracie's home from dance class. It added less than ten minutes to our ride home. Since I tended to the girls in dance (which means I kept track of their shoes) she had over an hour to get things done for an upcoming party. It felt SO GOOD to help her. It was no problem at all. Next time I need a little help, I'm happy to let her return the favor.

Thank you to all of our villagers, too many to list-but I hope you know who you are and how we love you. Our life is made easier and more joyful by your lending hands and our children are better for it.

A couple weeks back I called my friend Danneal early in the morning. She's in my village and she fields health questions and parenting questions. It was Friday morning and I was making donuts. The three youngest had gotten into the cupboard, dumped a bag of tortilla chips out, and were eating them off the floor. I had a choice-I could stop the conversation, take the chips, listen to the whining and crying, possibly run late for school because I paused making donuts to deal with it.......OR I could ignore it and continue my baking and conversation. I chose the latter. What was the worst that could happen? They eat a little dirt? Maybe a piece of hair? They spoil their breakfast? Let's face it-I was making donuts, they were probably better off with the tortilla chips (vegetable group, right sister?). The reason I share this, is that recently, a friend commented on an Instagram photo of my kids, and said that I make it look easy. I assure you that with two year old twins-it's not. But, it's certainly made easier by choices like this. I don't bother worrying if my kids are eating something off of the floor or wiping their faces on the back slider. I don't worry if laundry sits folded on my couch for half the day. I can't. I just can't.

So when motherhood feels overwhelming-ask for a little help from a trusted friend. And next time your kids wipe their snot on their shirt-pretend like you didn't see it. You can teach that lesson another day.

Enjoy some pics of the kids......it's been a while.

Sadly, I lost all of my pictures from Easter Sunday but a do have some from other Easter festivities
Egg dying....

These pics are from the egg hunt at Peoples Church. Gage was a really good big brother on this day. He took Gracie to help her hunt eggs and took each of the little ones through the bounce houses. He didn't complain about having to help keep an eye on them and he reveled in his big brother role. It's noteworthy because that doesn't always happen.

I was surprised when Gage wanted to play this year because he hated baseball last year. He said it was boring. This year he jumped at the chance to play catcher. He enjoyed the season a lot more being in on more of the action.

At the end of April we went to Monterey. Gage chose to stay home with his dad because he didn't want to miss school (he wanted perfect attendance this year) or baseball.

Ashlyn's favorite exhibit at the aquarium was the penguins. She could have sat there all day and watched them dive down into the water and climb back out.