So what if I do.......

We have four kids. Three of them are under two. We sometimes look like a circus......

Every day someone asks, "So you're done, right?"

I hate that question. It's not even a question.......it's an assumption.

Here's the thing-I have NO idea if we're done having kids or not. We might be done.....but we might not. When people assume we're done with the "So you're done, right?" question and I answer "I'm not sure" I get gasps and "Oh my God-you guys are CRAZY!!" in response.

We're coming up on an event for Matt's work that will be held in Monterey.......I was reminiscing about the event last year. It was the same trip last year that I got a call. My friends Danneal and Josh were having baby number four. For quite some time they thought they were done at three but they'd decided to have ONE more. I was sitting at the wharf in Monterey with the kids when she called. Gage, Gracie and I were eating lunch at a restaurant and my hands were full-I didn't answer. She called again. I didn't answer. She called from Josh's phone and I figured if she was calling three times it must be important so I answered. She'd had her ultrasound that morning and she said, "What's the worst possible news?" In my head I was thinking "miscarriage" but I couldn't believe that would be her delivery of such news. Instead-she said, "TWINS". I almost died. I couldn't believe she was having twins. I just kept thinking FIVE kids.....she's going to have FIVE kids......

Fast forward about three months. We go in for our ultrasound and learn WE'RE having twins. Danneal immediately came to mind. I mean, I couldn't be having twins-I already HAVE a friend having twins. It was early, I was probably 10 weeks. Matt and I were in shock-we hadn't even told our family we were expecting and now we were going to announce it would be twins. I didn't know what the risk of "vanishing twin" was so I wasn't sure when we would be safe to make the announcement. I knew Danneal would know so I text her, "When does the risk of vanishing twin disappear?" She replied, "Why are you having twins?" I wasn't expecting that reply and I'm a terrible liar-even in text.......so I said yes. Pretty sure her response was, "You're #*$% kidding me".

Fast forward a few more months and Danneal delivers her identical twin girls, Charlotte and Penelope. Danneal has difficult pregnancies.....from bed rest to babies in the NICU-the whole thing is challenging. Aside from that-we have a lot in common-similar parenting styles and values, cooking, sewing, photography.........and now we're both the parents of twins. One of the major differences in our lives is that she is a working mom and I stay home. Danneal is a nurse and her husband is a cop. They knew from the time they got pregnant with the twins that they would be done growing their family.

Last week we were having a long talk about sewing.....Mother's Day.....breastfeeding....all kinds of things. During that conversation she said something that stuck out to me........she said that if she didn't have to work and could stay home with her children and if her pregnancies weren't so difficult she would really consider having another. So...........what I gathered from that is that if she were me-she would really consider having another.

So maybe I'm not that crazy.

Or maybe we're just BOTH crazy.

We both get called "superwoman" and "supermom" all the time......and we don't feel like we're doing anything that amazing. Most often, this compliment comes from mothers who also say things like "I can't even get to the store with ONE child let alone four!" and "I can't believe you're nursing TWINS, I was overwhelmed with just one baby". To all of you that feel that way-you would be the same supermom if you were in our shoes. We're just doing what we have to do to maintain our families. I remember taking Gage shopping with me when he was little. He would look at himself in the mirror at Anthropologie eating his puffs. I'm pretty sure I thought that was hard. I probably wished I could be out shopping alone.....that I didn't have to rush home for nap time. So I get it......I get that it can be challenging to have even one child and that I look like supermom with my four-three of them still tiny......

It's just like when Danneal told me they were expecting twins-and I kept thinking, "FIVE kids......she's going to have FIVE kids".......Now I'm over here considering it myself!!

But honestly........

how could I not when I look at this every day.....

Love