On the second video one of my dearest friends, Kelsi, is in the background talking to Gage as he sings, "I like to move it, move it" over and over again. It was so good to hear her accent and remember when she was living here.
I could have watched those all night trying to stir up memories of Baby Gage......
About two weeks ago Gage was playing out front. Some of the neighbors were out there too, playing catch and riding scooters. Suddenly I heard screaming, "Aaaggh......aaaghh.......aaaghh!!!" My heart sunk to my feet and in that instant I feared he'd been hit by a car. That's why we have the "No screaming unless you're bleeding or dying" rule. I can't have that awful feeling just cause your Nerf arrow got stuck on the roof. Anyway, I ran outside to find Gage running toward me with his hands over his mouth blood dripping over them. Relief swept over me, thankful the worst hadn't happened. He may have lost a few teeth, but at least he hadn't been hit by a car. For the first time in a long time I just held him.....I assured him he would be fine, we would take care of it. I held him close to me as I got an ice pack and washcloth to clean him up. What he had was a severely busted lip with two gashes from his front teeth. It swelled up like a golf ball. He was riding his turtle bike (which is low to the ground) and he hit a rock in the street. The turtle bike stopped, but he didn't. He's not supposed to ride that bike out in the street but I saved the lecture and took the opportunity to comfort him in a way I haven't been able to in a long time. It felt so good to just hold him and bring him comfort. I needed it....
See, Gage and I had been having a rough several weeks. From a few weeks before Christmas until a few weeks after he was often in trouble. It felt like I was constantly getting on him about back-talking or getting his homework done or getting ready for school in time. At the time I was feeling "poor me" but looking back there's a little "poor Gage" in there too. He's in a tough spot. He's our only child that can take care of himself and has responsibilities. Everybody just adores Gracie; everything she says is hilarious because she's just learning how to have a real conversation. This morning she said, "Are you kidding me Gage?". Everything the twins do is adorable-just learning to walk and play peek-a-boo. Not everything Gage does is cute anymore. Like every other seven year old boy he'd rather be playing outside than doing his homework. He'd rather be building Legos in his closet than taking a shower or brushing his teeth to get ready for school. But after several weeks my patience was wearing thin and our interactions were getting ugly. His getting hurt was good.....I needed it because no matter how much I tell him-it was a chance for me to show him that I love him unconditionally. Even if he disobeyed and rode his turtle bike in the street when he wasn't supposed to-I would still hold him, comfort him and care for him. Even if he misbehaves or makes poor choices-I will always love him, no matter what.
The real lesson for me is that the last few weeks things with Gage have been much better-he must have needed it as much as I did.....
Love.
About two weeks ago Gage was playing out front. Some of the neighbors were out there too, playing catch and riding scooters. Suddenly I heard screaming, "Aaaggh......aaaghh.......aaaghh!!!" My heart sunk to my feet and in that instant I feared he'd been hit by a car. That's why we have the "No screaming unless you're bleeding or dying" rule. I can't have that awful feeling just cause your Nerf arrow got stuck on the roof. Anyway, I ran outside to find Gage running toward me with his hands over his mouth blood dripping over them. Relief swept over me, thankful the worst hadn't happened. He may have lost a few teeth, but at least he hadn't been hit by a car. For the first time in a long time I just held him.....I assured him he would be fine, we would take care of it. I held him close to me as I got an ice pack and washcloth to clean him up. What he had was a severely busted lip with two gashes from his front teeth. It swelled up like a golf ball. He was riding his turtle bike (which is low to the ground) and he hit a rock in the street. The turtle bike stopped, but he didn't. He's not supposed to ride that bike out in the street but I saved the lecture and took the opportunity to comfort him in a way I haven't been able to in a long time. It felt so good to just hold him and bring him comfort. I needed it....
It made me stop to think about how my role as mom changes as the years go by.......
See, Gage and I had been having a rough several weeks. From a few weeks before Christmas until a few weeks after he was often in trouble. It felt like I was constantly getting on him about back-talking or getting his homework done or getting ready for school in time. At the time I was feeling "poor me" but looking back there's a little "poor Gage" in there too. He's in a tough spot. He's our only child that can take care of himself and has responsibilities. Everybody just adores Gracie; everything she says is hilarious because she's just learning how to have a real conversation. This morning she said, "Are you kidding me Gage?". Everything the twins do is adorable-just learning to walk and play peek-a-boo. Not everything Gage does is cute anymore. Like every other seven year old boy he'd rather be playing outside than doing his homework. He'd rather be building Legos in his closet than taking a shower or brushing his teeth to get ready for school. But after several weeks my patience was wearing thin and our interactions were getting ugly. His getting hurt was good.....I needed it because no matter how much I tell him-it was a chance for me to show him that I love him unconditionally. Even if he disobeyed and rode his turtle bike in the street when he wasn't supposed to-I would still hold him, comfort him and care for him. Even if he misbehaves or makes poor choices-I will always love him, no matter what.
The real lesson for me is that the last few weeks things with Gage have been much better-he must have needed it as much as I did.....
Love.
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