First thing on the agenda-warm up. During this time we were asked to introduce ourselves, our little one, then share what makes us a good mother. Crap, more cheerleading and patting ourselves on the back? I'm FOR SURE in the wrong class. I'm about 12th in line and I'm not worried at all about what to say. I am a teacher (okay, I WAS but in my head I still am); plenty of mornings I walked in with no lesson plans and taught on the fly. I could surely think fast about makes me a good mom. So the ladies begin, "I am a good mother because I love to take my daughter everywhere with me!", "What makes me a good mother is that I want to give everything I can to my children", "I'm a good mom because this is my firstborn and now my world revolves around him"......I had to look down because I have no poker face and I could feel my eyes getting wide. I'm thinking, I'm certainly not going to meet a friend in this bunch.......who are these people?......did she just say that?.........I can't really sneak out of this big open field with a giant jogging stroller........everything they're saying makes them a good mother-I feel the opposite!
I mean, I CAN'T WAIT for an hour to myself without my kids.........my greatest desire right now is that Gracie sleep just one more hour in the morning so I can eat my breakfast without having to nurse a baby at the same time.......I think my kids already have too much.......I don't want my world to revolve around my kids-I have a husband, and friends, and things I enjoy doing without my children!! Uh oh, it's my turn......"My name is Dusty, this is my 10-month old daughter Gracie and my 5-year old Gage is on the playground. I am a good mother.......because I'm laid back, relaxed, I don't worry too much" Whew! I endured the remaining 40 minutes of a mediocre workout and walked away knowing I'd never go back.
The experience sent me into a little time of reflection.......what makes a good mom? I realized, I could think of a ton of little things, but no big theme was coming to mind. I'm sure it's different for us all. For me-it's what I shared that day. I don't worry too much.
Gracie chews on my keys. They're absolutely filthy, but she loves it-and when I'm picking Gage up from school it keeps her quiet until he's dismissed. I have had people take them from her and say, "Those are yucky, you don't want those." But she does!! And I don't care because I'm just not that worried about it. Gage is older, so worry is different. Today I threw away some of his favorite toys (more on this tomorrow). I'm not worried that he's going to be upset or that he's going to hate me. In fact, I did it KNOWING he would be upset about it and he might tell me that he hates me. But I also know by dinner time-he'll be over it. If not, surely by bedtime loves.
I love my babies, and I do worry about them. I worry about Gracie's milk allergy and I worry about Gage's readiness for kindergarten. But I don't worry TOO MUCH.
My kids have a funny age difference-they are close enough, yet far apart enough in age to do this.....Gracie & Gage, May 2012 at Grandma Debi's
If you're up for it....what do you think makes a good mother? Just please don't tell me it's that your children are your LIFE or that you just can't stand to be without them for a second.
Off to spend time with Matt. It's his turn.
Love.
Well said. A good mother is someone who can balance her career and raising a child, and not feel guilty about it. Who can stay relaxed (and organized) enough to keep a steady pace and not "lose it". Who can take time for herself and make sure there's plenty of quality time spent everyday with her child. :)
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