Why would I WANT to do the dishes?

My life is good. I have all I've ever wanted......a fabulous husband, two amazing children, a beautiful home in a great neighborhood, time at home with my children with a fall back career that I also love, the list goes on. Usually I can focus on the good and feel content. But last week, I lost it.......because some days are just plain hard. Last week I had several of those days. Typical mom stuff, Gracie throwing food on the floor, Gage interrupting while I made phone calls, dropping, spilling, crying, teething, pooping, needing, one thing after another, the house was a complete mess.........and I was SO tired. I kept trying every day to clean my house but the more I cleaned the more messes were made.

Nearly every Thursday night my husband meets a few friends for dinner and a drink after work. I love that night. It means I don't have to cook, I can watch whatever I want on TV, I can clean, I can spend the evening on Pinterest, the list of why I love Thursday evening goes on and on.

I love Thursdays and I love these guys. Matty, Hally, and Adolph, April '09

But last Thursday was the day I lost it. Matt came home from work to change before meeting the guys and when he hugged me I just started to cry. Nothing bad had happened I was just so exhausted that I cried. It's not the first time I've needed a break but it's never been this bad.

Matt felt bad but I encouraged him to go ahead and meet the guys. There was no need to drag him into my misery and his being home wasn't going to help. I decided to get over it. Sometimes we just have to do that, make a conscious decision to cheer up. So I decided to ignore the mess that was my house and do something the kids and I would both enjoy-a walk/bike ride to get ice cream. It was just right. We got home and unfortunately Koziko had not come to do my dishes so the house was still a mess. I decided to ignore it again and just go to bed.

I decided to postpone all that I NEEDED to do and spend the weekend doing what I WANTED to do. I sewed. Sewing means that the house is a mess because I have to drag everything into my kitchen. I just let it go while I completed some projects. I didn't like the mess, it was stressing me out a little to just leave fabric, the machine, and notions all over my kitchen table. If I had cleaned it though, I would have had to drag it all out again the next day and been frustrated by having to clean the mess up again and again. I chose not to feel guilty and I just did what I wanted. Matt helped me by keeping an eye on Gage and Gracie while I made these.

The tank part came from this weekend's $2 tank top sale at Old Navy, what a deal!

 This dress probably won't fit her till she's 3-that's what happens when you sew without a pattern!

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 This dress isn't quite finished, I need to press the seam and hem the bottom but I love it.

 A gorgeous minky blanket

This is just a piece of fabric that I wanted to use this weekend. I didn't.......because if I used it,

 then I wouldn't have it anymore. I don't want to "waste" it, so I'm waiting for the perfect project. 

Today I feel better than I did last Thursday. It feels good to have made something......completed a project. I had to let go of some things, postpone some things, but I needed to do something for myself. I don't know about you but I make lists. I love everything about them-making them, following them, checking them and crossing things off of them! Last week when I lost it, I was a mess of emotion. I felt like I needed a break, a nanny, and a cleaning lady. Then I felt guilty because I'm a stay at home mom, I should be able to care for my children and keep my house clean! After doing something for myself I realize I don't need a nanny or a cleaning lady. I just need to do something for myself every once in a while. If that means that the house isn't the cleanest-so be it, I won't feel guilty about it. Every once in a while our "to-do" lists need to include something we WANT to do, not just what we HAVE to do.

Look at this......

She wanted to be our there with him so bad. 

I love them. I love my husband. I love a clean house.....but I love myself more than a clean house. So I'm gonna make sure my "to do" lists include something for me.....you should too. 

Love.