People think they're crazy.......but I think it's GREAT that they have made this decision. Having children changes your life forever.......many of your own dreams and passions may be put on hold. If you don't want to put your own desires on hold-then you probably shouldn't have children. I think it's awesome they have the confidence and self-awareness to make that choice.
On the other hand, I ALWAYS wanted to be a mother. That's why I became a teacher. It wasn't because I want to fill the world with knowledge about biology. It's because I enjoy nurturing.....being part of growth.
This post wasn't supposed to be about friendship but while I have it in mind-I think sometimes this way I have even seeps into friendship for me. I remember once discussing love and relationships with my friend Kirtie.......and sharing with her that doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results was the same in love as it is in life-it's insanity.
Isn't she beautiful? In the months following her life changed and she fell in the right love-I was overjoyed to watch it happen. And it goes both ways-the only reason I HAD any advice to give was because my amazing friend, Kelsi, took me a through a therapeutic discovery of what would bring me true joy. I love learning too.
I call her my friend soul mate.
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But back to momming-from day to day I don't really THINK about being a mom, I just am. I do what needs to be done with and for my children, my husband, and my household. Days just pass sometimes with little reflection on what's actually happening.
Tonight I was walking around Joann fabrics shopping for projects and talking to Gracie. "Gracie, do you like this one?............Do you think this would make a pretty dress for you?............How about for Calista, you think she would like this one?" I don't think about what I'm doing-it's just what I do. At the cut counter there's a girl that we often see working there. We discussed what I needed and she said sincerely to me, "I always see you in here with your kids. You seem to really enjoy being a mom."
Um........what? Me? Really?..............I mean, I LOATHE taking the kids to Joann Fabrics. I'm always wishing I were there by myself......I managed to get out a "thank you".
It was one of those moments that I felt God speaking to me. This week Gage has been down at the farm (my in-laws) and although I miss him I have REALLY enjoyed the quiet time. There are so many moments when I just long for peace, quiet, and ten minutes to myself. I don't feel guilty about it-every mom has those moments. But............it was so nice to know that those feelings.....the ones of wishing I were shopping alone, or yearning to get away from my kids..........are NOT the ones I'm sharing with the world. This girl sees me in one my least favorite things to do with my kids-and still she sees that I really enjoy being a mother. Oh............how I hope that my children see the same thing......because I LOVE being their mother.
This was what Gage chose the day we went to Barnes and Noble. Two books about science and two "I can read" books?? That's mama's boy.......
And this one.....precious baby girl. She came out wide-eyed with such a curious nature. I really think she's going to be just like her dad-so smart......
I don't enjoy every minute of motherhood.......but not a moment passes that I don't love them and love being their mama.
Love.
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