and her husband, Josh, are expecting twin girls this fall. They have been busy preparing in every way possible-with three amazing kiddos already, chaos will certainly ensue when these little girls arrive. One thing they've wanted to get out of the way is naming and I find them to be amazing to have already come up with two names they can agree on (Matt and I fought up until the day Gracie was born about names). Problem is-when they've shared the names the response hasn't been all positive.....in fact, it's tipped in the direction of negative. It's causing her to second guess their choices.
I learned as I had my own little ones not to really give an opinion on names either way. For one, I was a teacher and I've literally taught thousands of kids and many of them have a negative connotation for me-it's not fair. Secondly, who really cares about my opinion of a name? When they had their daughter, Paris, I wasn't fond of the name at all. But I love Paris....and I don't love her any less than I would if she had another name.
My advice to her (and anyone expecting) is to keep the names to themselves. People will deal with it when it comes and they'll love the girls just the same. So no-I'm not going to tell you their potential names.
Her husband has a feeling of "Who cares what people think??" But that's SO challenging. We WANT not to care what people think-but I think it's human nature to care. Considering this led me to think about the topic in depth..........I always see Facebook posts or pins on Pinterest stating that people shouldn't care what others think about them. Maybe I'm weird but for the most part-I realized I actually do care........
For example-when I was teaching.....I wanted kids to like my class-to learn something and love it at the same time. Part of being a good teacher is getting kids to like your class. Whether or not they enjoyed their time with me was a testament to how good I was at my job. Not only do I value what people think-I value what teenagers think!
And as a person-I want people to like me....it's a testament to my character, right? I know people aren't going to love every decision I make or have made......I don't like every decision I've made either. But if people don't like me-I'm probably not a nice person. I was taught to be kind......"The second is this-love your neighbor as yourself. There is no commandment greater than these" Mark 12:31. Of course I'm not always successful but people who abide by this are likable. So......I guess I want to be liked.
As a mother-I want people to think I'm a good mother. The fact is......if they don't-I'm probably not.
But I know that's maybe not the norm. It's just like talking behind my back-I would actually RATHER you say unkind things about me behind my back. I don't want to hear it. Let me give an example-When I met Matt I had just gotten out of another relationship. I had intended to spend some time being single but it didn't work out that way. Most people probably thought it was a bad idea to get into another relationship so quickly. I don't care if my friends talked about how they thought it was a bad idea. From the outside it probably seemed like it WAS a bad idea.....and I certainly didn't want or need to hear that. I would have rather they just said that behind my back. Honestly.
I feel like I'm rambling so I'm gonna stop.....but is it just me?
Love.
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